This command that I enjoin on you today is not too difficult or distant for you. It is not up in the sky that you should say "Who will go up in the sky and get it for us and tell us of it that we may carry it out?" Nor is it across the sea that you should say "Who will go across the sea and get it for us and tell us of it that we may carry it out?" No, it is something very near to you, already written in your heart. You need only to carry it out.

Deuteronomy 30:11-14

I talked to a new catechist recently. Janet was recruited into the ranks rather reluctantly, agreeing only because the director, whom she respected as a good and dedicated person, was so desperate for teachers. Yet once she began, she had to admit she felt drawn to it and excited by the possibility of helping young people find God. Something deep inside her felt affirmed, perhaps even completed, by communicating her faith to others.

It was about four months into the program when I talked to this young woman. The initial glow of unbridled hope had faded and she was struggling. One class member never seemed to listen or to care despite Janet's best efforts, and his attitude was negatively affecting the others. There were a few parents who complained at the smallest things, especially when some effort was required outside class. Even on good days, Janet watched the departing class and wondered whether she was making any difference in their faith or life after all. Basically she felt lost, and wondered whether this ministry was where God wanted her to be. She said, "I just wish God would write on the wall and tell me I'm doing the right thing. If I could know that, even when I can't see the results I would have the strength to carry on."

I never met a catechist or teacher who didn't have doubts sometimes, especially when they encountered difficult people or situations. So how do we know we are following God's call? As this gentle scripture reminds us, God will not write on the wall and dictate our course of action because it is already written, not across the sea or up in the sky but in our hearts. Janet recognized the stirring of the Spirit in her initial enthusiasm and the sense of affirmation and completion she felt. It takes patience, prayer, and trust to keep at least a fragile thread of connection to those feelings when obstacles arise. Over time, that connection changes, matures, and deepens as we live through the tough times and learn how to better carry out our task. We may never see outward rewards or results. We can, however, trust that as we do our best to follow God's will, God will honor our every effort and will continue to guide us, grant us wisdom, and use us as God's own instruments. Listen to God speak in your heart; then carry it out.

Amy Florian